Lately

Lately 

It has been slow

There has been tons in my mind

I have spent a lot of time alone

And a lot of time together

And I have seen tons of inconsistency in my alone and together times

I contradict myself 

When I say 

I am going to spend time alone and listen to you God

But then get discouraged and fill my time with noise and music to hear through it

To be honest I am just not sure what You are saying God

So ill wait for you  

to wait..

How often do we miss out on your voice God
because we don't wait
we don't take the time to listen
How often has this been me? How often have I just rambled on and on and forgotten to just still and wait, TRUSTING that you are sovereign and holding it all together

Oh the irony God
Is that I want so desperately to be patient
and to be still and wise
BUT i want that now

Time is wearing on me
whittling me down to the raw essence of who I am

Impatience is easy, I can get what I want, when I want it, and how I want it
It so easy to fall into my selfishness of wanting things now
Of wanting understanding now
Of wanting heart change now

God I know you have been here with me through each decision
Through each tough choice made
through each battle that rages in my mind
You know me
I love your still quiet voice
The comfort of your spirit after a long day
Thank you for the grace that you have given me to endure
Thank you for being so merciful

I am comforted in knowing that all my desires are tiny compared to your love God
As CS Lewis wrote - You find my desires not too burdensome, but too weak.
How freeing it is to know
that through the winds and gales of life
From the financial crises
To leading
From relationships to family
From the depths of my questions to the openness of a smile
these are all held in your hands
and you are in control over them all
All my raging desires are but a breeze wafting through your fingers.

God I submit to you
You are God, and I am not
would you just help me understand,
however and whenever that looks like
What it means to love in the long run
What it means to be a servant
What it means to be patient
I don't want to hear
I want to live it
Thank you for life, thank you that you are teaching me even as I type these words
Thank you for the cross, from which Jesus died for our sin and disconnect with God
Purchasing a way to freedom and truth through you Jesus
So that I can trust and know a loving Father
Who knows what I need
And when I need to hear and know it
And when I need to fight it out
and when I need to just sit

and be still

thank you Joshua Kocaurek for this amazing edit! :)

a song called "I Found You" about grace and being found in it, alongside another heart, also found in grace :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeJJtI2a5e4

~~1 Corinthians 10:31

The RESCUE

Do you have the slightest reliance on anything or anyone other than God? 


Watch God RIP that reliance from your hands, "the easy or the hard way" as my dad used to say.


He wants you to know that He loves you like this, that He is willing to do anything so that you know how desperate you are for Him. 


Ask God to show you where your idolatrous hands are clenching control, pride, selfishness and arrogance and be prepared for your life to change as the truth of His perfect love brings light to those deep, dark places. 


Also expect His grace and hope to fill you and keep you alive during that sanctification, know that He is making you a better person amidst all the pain, because,


He loves you,


enough to rescue you from your sinful nature.


(Romans 8:11, Galatians 2:20)

KNOWN

Just listen to the Father whispering these words to you right now..
Regardless of the pain or suffering you may feel
Regardless of the joy and triumph you might be feeling
Despite heartbreak and heart gain

"I know your heart"

God has told me this over and over again the last couple months, reminding me that I am KNOWN by Him for the heart that He has created and bestowed upon me, I am created in His image, my heart is a heart after His very own, from which every good things flows!

That simple phrase touches deep! Let the one who KNOWS you the best tell you who you are and what you mean to Him, this will begin to change your life!

the more I seek you...

"The more I seek you, the more I find you,
The more I find you, the more I love you."


~Kari Jobe

(thank you Kari for such a beautiful song and for that beautiful truth and understanding of our journey with the Father!)

Warrior God

For the LORD is the one who shaped the mountains,
stirs up the winds, and reveals his thoughts to mankind.
He turns the light of dawn into darkness
and treads on the heights of the earth.
The LORD God of Heaven’s Armies is his name! (Amos 4:13 NLT)

We as men bear the image of our Warrior God, we were made to fight for truth in this world, to love others as He first loved us!